Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

  The Washington riot of 1-6-2021 has had a disturbingly little impact on provoking people to think about the Union.   As I read through comments on Facebook and Twitter in response to the assault on Capitol Hill it is not surprising to see that the citizens of the union are as distrusting of each other now as they were before the election. The separation of the nation into Republican and Democratic tribes resulted in divisions running as deep as families and marriages or relationships. America is a religious nation and most identify as Christian, but faith did not matter as Christians took sides as they have in civil wars for centuries. President Abraham Lincoln saw this as plainly in 1865 as we see today when he said: "Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God,  and each invokes His aid against the other." This hatred of the other has cut deeply into the union and is constantly fueled by the rhetoric of doubt and contempt. I’ve seen this many times in marria...

  The defining component of a toxic culture is the poison labelled contempt. Psychotherapists know a lot about contempt. It’s the poison that destroys relationships with an almost insurmountable barrier to reconciliation ( See Healthy Marriages ). Contempt can be seen in eye-rolls, sneers, mocking gestures and a litany of criticisms that attract in-kind responses of sarcasm and ultimately cynicism. The whole pattern is dangerous to partners as it not only causes emotional pain but it may also lead to belligerent acts including physical aggression. ( Read more about contempt . ) Contempt is nothing new of course. Contempt is part of human nature. But in recent years, the multifarious sniping where I live in the US has increased to a level that relationships have broken down. It’s not just about the COVID-19 pandemic because the virus of contempt was in the air before COVID-19 joined it. Sadly, I admit that I too fired some toxic shots even as I was trying to fight against...

Tweeden's report of her long felt anger in the face of a revealing photo of sexual harassment by Al Franken makes big news for several reasons. We know sexual harassment knows no political boundaries. It's not just a problem for conservatives who have been under fire. But now there is evidence of a Democrat's sexual assault-- plus a photo and an apology. Leeann Tweeden says she accepted Franken's apology, which adds to the complexity of how to handle sexual harassment in society. Sexual harassment is wrong. No one of a sound mind denies the obvious. Different groups concerned about people who are accused of sexual harassment handle reports differently. This difference raises the issue of what consequences should apply to Franken and others when there is evidence of harassment. Voters will judge when they have an opportunity regardless of what any official administrative group (ethics panels etc.) decides. So, politicians have consequences of a different sort t...

Two big splits happened in Western nations this year. The British voted to exit the EU and Americans fought or endured a presidential campaign punctuated by harsh words and allegations of crimes, treason, and immorality. I've heard calls for reconciliation and unity. Sometimes the calls make sense. Sometimes they almost seem insulting. And at other times the encouragement to reconcile or unify is ridiculous. The only way to make sense of these calls is to get beyond the glibness. I'm talking about the kind of glibness that fits on a bumper sticker like "Missouri values." What values do you claim--that's what I want to know. RECONCILIATION - Should we get together and trust each other? It is nice to seek reconciliation. It's a feel good word. I noticed earlier this year that Pope Francis met with Lutherans - in case you haven't heard, the 500th anniversary of the big split comes up next year. The "Reformation" was indeed a major spli...