Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

On Remembrance Sunday, I shared a post about Queen Elizabeth II being the only living Commander in Chief who served in World War II. As a young woman she served in a way that women were welcomed in uniform in those days. What amazed me is the number of people who gave my post a like or "love" in a short period of time. At one point, the post got a positive click about every minute, which is much higher than my usual posts. Of course, the group was composed of people of British origin. Still, the question may be asked why is she so popular? And, is there anything leaders may learn from such high levels of public support? Oh, by the way, Queen Elizabeth II and her family are of great interest to many Americans as well so, it's not just the British. Princess Elizabeth WW II service The Queen's popularity ratings run above 80% in various surveys. That's high for a national leader. Most leaders won't be kings or queens or even presidents ...

Respect consists of the ways people treat their leaders and other group members. Core features of respect include social status and likeability ( See Psychology of Respect ). Honesty In a 2014 survey by Kouzes and Posner of over 100,000 people, honesty was the highest quality ( CEO ). Honest communication is often supported by facts that can be checked by others. Honesty promotes trust and credibility. One major lapse in integrity can dash a career. Apologies may help but for many, trust is gone forever. Politicians often get little respect because they fail to deliver on their promises. A CEO will be ousted when a promised result doesn’t happen. But politicians seem to get away with failed promises when they can blame the failure on a competitor, opposition party, or foreign power. Golden Rule Leaders gain or lose respect depending on how people perceive them as following the Golden Rule - Treat others as you would like to be treated. Respect is a relational ...

Journey to a Better Relationship Four Things to Pack Couples often seek counseling to improve their relationship. The general goal is something like satisfaction, which can be quite vague unless you flesh it out with some specifics. But that’s where things can get pretty negative if couples and therapists aren’t careful. Getting to relationship satisfaction can be an arduous and discouraging process of identifying areas where each partner is unhappy. The usual culprits are ways of spending our money, spending enough time together, enjoying sex, sharing responsibilities, and agreeing on parenting strategies. Enter Jen Ripley and Ev Worthington—two experienced couples’ therapists from the Eastern U.S. I’m reading their recent book, Couple Therapy for a book review I’ll be sending off in a few weeks. My focus in this post is on four goals they suggest for couples’ counseling . What I like about these ideas is how they fit with trends ...

Am I in Love? “He loves me. He loves me not.” Pulling the petals of love from a flower to gauge the status of a relationship seems so arbitrary. How do people decide if they are in love? In western cultures, marriage and long-term relationships have been based on love for decades. And when love is no longer present, couples separate. Marriages dissolve. Some find a second love relationship before an existing one is formally abandoned. Others pause between relationships as if one should end before beginning another. Love is a squishy idea. Love is hard to define in terms of a checklist. But that does not stop magazines from responding to the demand for answers to the question: “How do I know if I’m in love?” Geoffrey W. Sutton, PhD Cite this post Sutton, G. W. (2015, February 13). Am i in love? Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture https://geoffwsutton.blogspot.com/2015/02/am-i-in-love.html A Love Model You might suspect that psychologists st...

Weddings : Values that Can Lead to a  Successful Marriage Two young people I know plan to marry this Sunday. My wife and I have known the groom and his parents for years. I came to know the bride when she was a college student worker. To all appearances, they are a beautiful couple in a loving and committed relationship. They met in college, dated, obtained master’s degrees from the same university, and attend the same church. Theirs will be a Christian wedding. Weddings and Culture Like a long flowing gown, or a brides' aisle walk to meet her bridegroom, weddings retain a cultural trail of values. Cultural traditions are often integrated with religious ceremony. Royal ceremonies encourage fantasies in children’s books suggest enchantment in romantic novels and movies for girls and women (and some men) of all ages.  Religious stories illustrate blessed relationships and joyful celebrations. Weddings used to mark the beginning of a new life together. ...