Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

Tweeden's report of her long felt anger in the face of a revealing photo of sexual harassment by Al Franken makes big news for several reasons. We know sexual harassment knows no political boundaries. It's not just a problem for conservatives who have been under fire. But now there is evidence of a Democrat's sexual assault-- plus a photo and an apology. Leeann Tweeden says she accepted Franken's apology, which adds to the complexity of how to handle sexual harassment in society. Sexual harassment is wrong. No one of a sound mind denies the obvious. Different groups concerned about people who are accused of sexual harassment handle reports differently. This difference raises the issue of what consequences should apply to Franken and others when there is evidence of harassment. Voters will judge when they have an opportunity regardless of what any official administrative group (ethics panels etc.) decides. So, politicians have consequences of a different sort t...

Two big splits happened in Western nations this year. The British voted to exit the EU and Americans fought or endured a presidential campaign punctuated by harsh words and allegations of crimes, treason, and immorality. I've heard calls for reconciliation and unity. Sometimes the calls make sense. Sometimes they almost seem insulting. And at other times the encouragement to reconcile or unify is ridiculous. The only way to make sense of these calls is to get beyond the glibness. I'm talking about the kind of glibness that fits on a bumper sticker like "Missouri values." What values do you claim--that's what I want to know. RECONCILIATION - Should we get together and trust each other? It is nice to seek reconciliation. It's a feel good word. I noticed earlier this year that Pope Francis met with Lutherans - in case you haven't heard, the 500th anniversary of the big split comes up next year. The "Reformation" was indeed a major spli...

MAKING PEACE WITH FATHERS When the Faith of Fathers Interferes with Relationships How do you celebrate father’s day when your memories don’t allow you to say, “You’re the Best Dad ever?” Perhaps your casual glance at social media suggests so many people had better father’s than you did. Do you notice the silent posts —people who don’t comment on their fathers and how great they were? Perhaps you knew the fathers of friends and wish your father could be more like theirs? Perhaps your father wasn’t there for you and you wonder why he was not in your life? There are fathers who only merit the name in a biological sense. I’m not writing about those. Apparently some father’s walk on water—at least that’s the impression I get from reading posts by many young women. I’m not writing about those fathers either. There are ordinary fathers who have delightful and troublesome attributes—it’s those I write about. And in particular I am writing for this blog about Psycho...

REFLECTIONS ON FORGIVENESS Forgiveness repairs our internal damage and frees us to live in the present with hope for the future. Forgiveness provides the groundwork for reconciliation but it cannot change the offender. I am teaching about forgiveness in the next few weeks. In the process of preparation, I am looking for ways to explore the meaning of forgiveness in ordinary language rather than the often obtuse definitions found in psychology journals. Forgiveness defined Forgiveness is an action performed by a victim to no longer demand that the offender pay for the harm that was done. The victim takes control of the situation by assessing the damage and taking care of any repairs whether they be to oneself or one’s possessions. We can forgive people for harmful acts that cost us real money such as damage to our home or auto. Other damages are difficulty to assess. Some harm our reputations. Others wound not only bodies but plant horrific images and condemning messages ...

FORGIVENESS & RECONCILIATION In a previous post ( 20 February ), I reported the results from two studies, which examined some nuances about forgiveness and reconciliation. This weekend, I follow up on that post with an additional set of 5 beliefs. As you study the questions, I hope you find the variations a useful starting point for considering the topic of forgiveness and reconciliation in more depth. As before, I will list the belief statement so you can think about your own opinion. Then I will post the response of the sample at the bottom of this blog post. BELIEFS 6 THROUGH 10 I will use the numbers 6-10 as a reminder that this is  Part 2 of 2 Parts. Please see the February 20 post for Part 1. 6. It is easier to forgive a friend or family member than a stranger for the same offense. 7. People need to admit what they have done and change before you forgive them. 8. If someone lost their job or position of leadership because...

What Do People Believe About  Forgiveness and Reconciliation? Anybody interested in the subject of forgiveness and reconciliation knows what psychologists and counselors believe—forgiveness is a good thing for general and mental health. We also know that psychologists define forgiveness as an inside job—forgiveness happens when people let go of the hurt feelings, smoldering anger, and desire for revenge. Some think we should also adopt a positive attitude toward those who hurt us. And psychologists think reconciliation is different from forgiveness. Reconciliation is the process of repairing a damaged relationship. Trust is the key to reconciliation. Forgiveness can help but you can begin the process of working together even when unforgiven hurts persist. For example, people hurting after a divorce can get along to some extent for the sake of their children. Two employees can work together of projects even though unforgiveness limits their ability to enjoy the time the...

HONORING BLACK LIVES:  LOVING NEIGHBORS Many in the U.S. will honor Black Lives Matter Sunday . This is an important opportunity to celebrate the love theme of advent by making it clear that the lives of Black citizens really do matter. Black leaders have called for a day of prayer and lifting up the significance of black lives and black communities. Christians are supposed to be people characterized by love for others. Obviously, many fall short. This weekend can be an opportunity for redemption. All Americans can show their respect for and love of Black Americans on Sunday, throughout the Christmas season, and in the years to come. Despite a Civil War in the 1800s and Civil Rights actions in the 1900s, racial prejudice and racial inequality persist in the 2000s. There's more work to do. Whites need to understand that racial inequality has not ended. This Sunday is an opportunity to realize the work begun in the Civil Rights era has not been comp...

VIOLENCE ON EARTH   or   PEACE ON EARTH Imagine greeting people with a blessing of “Violence” as in, “Violence to you and your family.” Of course violence has been a part of life for millennia. And we often hear that peace is fragile in some part of the world. But we hope for peace. And some of us work for peace. In the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, peace follows justice. That makes sense. We hear news stories of violent protests following a legal decision that seems unjust. Peace follows justice. Injustice disrupts peace. Future peace is predicated on evidence that the offended people will be treated justly. The image of peace created by the Hebrew prophet Isaiah strikes us as strange. What kind of world would it be if a wolf and a lamb could eat together without the latter being the meal? A wise lamb would flee from the presence of a wolf. In the Bible, many texts admonish people to live righteously and justly. True, biblical notions of justice involve ...

RECONCILIATION:  FOUR STEPS Years ago, a former slave reconciled with his captors and used his position to help them and their family survive. You may have heard the Hebrew story of Joseph—a man favored by his father and despised by his brothers. He was sold to traffickers and ended up a servant to an Egyptian leader where he was sexually harassed, place in prison, and forgotten for years. After his wisdom and leadership was recognized in prison, he was freed and placed in a government position. During hard times, his brothers came to purchase grain. Joseph recognized them but they did not recognize him. He tested them, which induced fear but later, he revealed himself, and provided for their well-being. From time to time, I have heard pastors use the story as a basis for a sermon on forgiveness. But it’s not about forgiveness. There’s no evidence of forgiveness at all. All we observe are degrees of reconciliation among the family members. And near the end of the story, ...