Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

Forgive? Yes. Reconcile? Maybe. A TODAY story by Rebecca Ruiz has a headline that reads, “How do you forgive a killer? A mother moves past tragedy?” A powerful photo shows Mary Johnson hugging Oshea Israel—the man who murdered her son.  The story includes other examples of people who suffered major hurts but found their way to forgiveness. Last week I referred to the CNNblog about the Piers Morgan interview with Rick and Kay Warren . I wrote about attributions and coping with loss. But there’s more. There’s a story about forgiveness. But not reconciliation. Rick “One of the hard things was forgiving the person who sold him the gun... Because I didn't want to forgive him.” Kay  “I don't want to be tied to that person emotionally for the rest of my life” FORGIVENESS AND RELIGION Most religions include guidance about relationships and a part of that guidance includes the repair of damaged relationships. In the Christian tradition, forgiveness comes from Go...

How Forgiveness Promotes Hope Geoff W. Sutton             Weddings, birthdays, reunions and summer holidays bring families together. Visions of BBQs, swimming, and fireworks dance in the heads of children. Not all fireworks decorate the sky. Some explode.  Amidst the laughter and joy, some fume about slights and barely veiled insults. Others recall serious hurts and pain. “It’s best to avoid the stress,” some say, as they vote with their feet and find comfort elsewhere. Reviewing past hurts keeps our energy and focus in the past. The past saps our ability to enjoy the present or make plans for the future. The pain of the past is like a storm cloud in front of the sunshine of hope.             Forgiveness is a way of letting go of the past and promoting hope. I and my colleagues like Ev Worthington have conducted research with hundreds of people. When we measure...