Geoff W. Sutton Blog

LOVE IS…  one of those feel good words that gets tossed around so much. Use the word love and people perk up. Love brings a smile. Add it to a song and it sounds romantic.  Love is a replacement for like and sex. A love is a person. Red valentine-style hearts pop into western minds. Love is people holding hands and soft furry creatures like puppies and kittens in children’s’ arms. Love is a many splendored thing. To psychologists, love is more than a feeling. Sometimes I think we should invent a new word so we can be more precise about love but that won’t do. We can’t communicate about love if we ignore the word everyone uses. We just have to be clear. Whatever love is, it has many dimensions. And love is more than a feeling. I have worked on a university campus for years. On a sunny day you can see loving couples sprawled across green spaces. They are the ones where you don’t see two distinct forms. They merge—all over each other. I am not ...

Why do people do what they do? Why do some recover from loss whilst others are devastated? Why do some turn to God and others turn away from God when bad things happen? Why did she say that?  What were you thinking?  People want answers.  2007 Greensburg KS tornado destroyed my brother-in-law's house And that desire for answers to why questions has fueled incredible progress for both the well-being and destruction of humanity and our planet. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl illustrates the human quest for answers . I suspect that search is why psychology is such a hot college major. And why I love psychological science. This post is an introduction to thinking broadly about human nature. It would be nice to have one answer to each why question. But people are complex. Some short and simple answers might satisfy as answers to simple questions. But if you take a careful look, simple answers might not lead to any useful conclusi...

Christian Cup Results: Are you keeping score?  When it come to an all-inclusive spirituality, many faith traditions continue to grant special status to men of select ethnic backgrounds associated with the tradition. In Christianity, Jesus was oft depicted as a European man. But changes are on the way. It is not surprising that the leader of the Roman Catholics created a lot of buzz with his seemingly gay-friendly statement reported worldwide on 29 July, 2013. After all, he is the leader of the largest group of   Christians in the world and the position of the Catholic Church on matters of same-sex marriage is well known. "If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?" What makes the comment so noteworthy is that Pope Francis did not just speak about Catholics who are homosexuals. He referred to priests. Also see Ross Douthat at the NY Times for another thoughtful essay. But, what about women? "the Church has s...

Millennials are this and that and want this and that. And they are so different from generation xyz. I was 19 when Neil Postman delivered a talk about BS and the art of Crap-Detection to the National Convention for the Teachers of English (NCTE). Postman credited Ernest Hemingway for that wonderful concept, the  crap  detector . So why am I writing about crap?   Well, I have seen several online comments referencing posts by Rachel Held Evans  in the last couple of weeks ( July 27 , August 2 ). She writes about culture and religion from the perspective of a progressive millennial. No wonder she got push-back from conservative Christians (e.g., Trevin Wax ). And support from Progressive Christians (e.g., Christopher Smith ). She appears quite popular. After all, who doesn't care about religion, faith, justice, morality, sexual orientation, and other life-affecting topics? Perception . I like that Rachel refers to research and included links...

Healthy Marriages Reconstructing Marriage Part 3 Ellen sat alone on one side of the two-seater. Head bowed. Tear streaked cheeks. Black and blue circled left eye. Words come slowly, choked by sobs. “It just escalated...again.” I listened. Again. Like other psychologists and counselors, I offered couple counseling for years. At our best, we draw on the latest research. We attend workshops to hone our skills. And share ideas in an effort to help couples repair their relationships. But some marriages seem doomed to fail. Maybe even should end. Previously, I posted about the decline of marriage and how people can act to make a difference in society . Now I look at what couples can do to strengthen their marriage. Fortunately, the work of John Gottman and his colleagues along with other scientists in other labs have made significant discoveries that can help married couples reconstruct their marriages. In this post I review seven principles of healthy relationsh...