Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

Creating Good Memories After a Loss I knew something was wrong when my dad came to take me out of fifth grade in the middle of the day. In the old grey ’49 Plymouth, mum was crying. Soon we were at Idlewild for my first flight back home- London, England. For days, my aunt Joan’s home in East Finchley (North London) was a grand central station-- family coming and going. Funny old stories repeated. Newfangled Lego blocks were really cool. A visit to Aunt Lilly and Uncle Jack’s sweet shop (actually a small grocers- I focus on what’s important). Then there were trips to old friends. The lights of Oxford St and Regent St. A walk with dad by the Thames whilst mum grieved with her sisters and her dad. Good memories amidst the sorrow. The 5 th December, marks the anniversary of my maternal grandmother’s death and a special memory. I’ve lived more than six decades. My wife and I have known many losses. And some of our loved ones died very close to Christmas. I’ve learn...

JOY ABORTED In the next five minutes, 8 or more mothers will lose their unborn child in the U.S. The joy of welcoming a baby into the world will be lost. Many mothers have lost a child more than once. Christmas is a season given to celebrations of joy and focused on gifts to children. But many families feel a deep sense of loss. Christmas without children can mean days of sadness. LOOK AT MY BABY! We met at breakfast and passed around the picture of my granddaughter before she was born. The beauty of an ultrasound photo brings joy and confirms hope for millions of parents and grandparents. She and her sister have been sources of great joy. Sadly, millions of parents and grandparents will not experience this joy. In fact, many mothers and fathers suffer in silence as they struggle with the loss of a child they may have wanted for years. The term miscarriage sounds so dispassionate. Miscarriage makes the loss of a pregnancy like another medical event instead of the de...

Soldiers, Heroes, Faith and Identity Normandy, France 8 March 2012 / Geoff Sutton 1. War Memorials offer the living evidence that another human being lived and died . And in that war, that person made a significant contribution to us -- the one living and able to observe the memorial. Even when not connected by a family tree, we feel connected to someone who helped preserve our nation. 2. Memorials reveal identities . But the identities are often limited to a name and a date. Somehow a name is such a vital part of who we are. Some people get pretty upset when their names are mispronounced. What’s in a name? A lot really-- an entire life can be called up by a name. And we care for those unnamed—a place reserved in time and space for the “Unknown.” Sometimes we get a glimpse into another piece of identity. My father-in-law was a World War II American Veteran. There's a symbol representing his military service, wheat identifying his farmer-life, and a fish in mem...