Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

EFFECTIVE APOLOGIES What Works? Individuals and business leaders often find themselves apologizing or dealing with requests for an apology. Most are seeking forgiveness and many wish to make things right. But correcting mistakes is not always easy. Having an affair destroys most romantic relationships . Some partners do forgive and reconcile. Many do not. In an age of ubiquitous cameras, high speed internet communication, and hackers, odds increase that cheaters will be revealed to a wide audience. Of course, it’s not just the spouse or partner who suffers—children, relatives, and close friends hurt as well. Usually the small stuff can be handled with an “I’m sorry” as long as it appears genuine.  When the offense causes some difficulty, reputable businesses make amends. For example, after incorrect ticketing in China, I was moved to business class–too bad it was only an hour flight! Larger offenses cause more distress and law suits are costly. ...

EFFECTIVE APOLOGIES What Works? Individuals and business leaders often find themselves apologizing or dealing with requests for an apology. Most are seeking forgiveness and many wish to make things right. But correcting mistakes is not always easy. Having an affair destroys most romantic relationships . Some partners do forgive and reconcile. Many do not. In an age of ubiquitous cameras, high speed internet communication, and hackers, odds increase that cheaters will be revealed to a wide audience. Of course, it’s not just the spouse or partner who suffers—children, relatives, and close friends hurt as well. Usually the small stuff can be handled with an “I’m sorry” as long as it appears genuine.  When the offense causes some difficulty, reputable businesses make amends. For example, after incorrect ticketing in China, I was moved to business class–too bad it was only an hour flight! Larger offenses cause more distress and law suits are costly. Church...

NELSON MANDELA RECONCILIATION  CONTINUES As I write this post, Nelson Mandela lies ill in hospital. People have gathered to pray. His example of forgiveness and reconciliation continues as reflected in a BBC news headline : Nelson Mandela is ‘uniting the nation,’ hears church service. In 2009, I joined my friend Johan Mostert on a visit to religious leaders and ministries in South Africa. I learned of the pain of suffering and the struggle to forgive from people who had lived through apartheid. Mostert, a clergyman and community psychologist and his colleague, Mervin van der Spuy, Chaplain, weave stories of forgiveness and reconciliation with historical events as they explain the value of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) in healing the nation. (I’ll include the reference to their chapter at the end of this blog post.) The TRC was set up by the South African Government of National Unity to deal with the results of violent conflicts and human rights a...

How Effective are Apologies? Christian Apologizes to LGBTQ Community: Part 2 Geoff W. Sutton I n my previous post I provided a link to the apology by Alan Chambers of ExodusInternational to the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer) community. In this blog, I will review some research related to the effectiveness of apologies. It is no secret that some Christian groups have protested against activities of the LGBTQ community, including the issue of same-sex marriage and the recent decision by the Boy Scouts of America to admit gay youth as scouts. Since most Americans continue to identify as Christian, it is easy to guess that most members of the US LGBTQ community identify as Christians now or did so at one point in their life. Given the prominent protests by Christian groups, it is not surprising that members of the LGBTQ community view Christians as judgmental, hateful, and hypocritical when they preach a gospel of love, compassion, and forgiveness....