Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

FORGIVENESS & RECONCILIATION In a previous post ( 20 February ), I reported the results from two studies, which examined some nuances about forgiveness and reconciliation. This weekend, I follow up on that post with an additional set of 5 beliefs. As you study the questions, I hope you find the variations a useful starting point for considering the topic of forgiveness and reconciliation in more depth. As before, I will list the belief statement so you can think about your own opinion. Then I will post the response of the sample at the bottom of this blog post. BELIEFS 6 THROUGH 10 I will use the numbers 6-10 as a reminder that this is  Part 2 of 2 Parts. Please see the February 20 post for Part 1. 6. It is easier to forgive a friend or family member than a stranger for the same offense. 7. People need to admit what they have done and change before you forgive them. 8. If someone lost their job or position of leadership because...

RECONCILIATION:  FOUR STEPS Years ago, a former slave reconciled with his captors and used his position to help them and their family survive. You may have heard the Hebrew story of Joseph—a man favored by his father and despised by his brothers. He was sold to traffickers and ended up a servant to an Egyptian leader where he was sexually harassed, place in prison, and forgotten for years. After his wisdom and leadership was recognized in prison, he was freed and placed in a government position. During hard times, his brothers came to purchase grain. Joseph recognized them but they did not recognize him. He tested them, which induced fear but later, he revealed himself, and provided for their well-being. From time to time, I have heard pastors use the story as a basis for a sermon on forgiveness. But it’s not about forgiveness. There’s no evidence of forgiveness at all. All we observe are degrees of reconciliation among the family members. And near the end of the story, ...

Relationship      Betrayal &  Barriers to  Forgiveness On 6 November, Sarah Pulliam Bailey of RNS posted a story about the resignation of Christian Leader, Doug Phillips following an extramarital relationship. From time to time we read about stories of prominent religious leaders and relationships that have gone awry. Using graphic language, biblical prophets refer to the Israelites acting like prostitutes in their betrayal of their relationship with God. In this post I consider several weapons that hurt relationships and six types of barriers to healthy relationships. BETRAYAL NINE Weapons of Relationship Destruction (WRD) I hope that as I list some WRD items -- barriers to forgiveness in relationships -- that you will recall other barriers from your own experience and share them as comments so we can all benefit.  Couples deal with a myriad of exchanges that they often overlook but some rise above others as ...

APOLOGIES FOLLOWING CLERGY ABUSE Pope Francis Apologises for Clergy Sex Abuse Geoff W. Sutton Have you ever known a religious leader who made a public apology following an offense? Investigations in the sexual abuse of minors by Catholic priests have been in the news for years. Leaders within the CatholicChurch have made public apologies . American televangelists and prominent preachers also made headlines for wrongdoing. Rape is traumatic in any context. It seems so much worse in religious settings where leaders teach sexual purity and represent God to the faithful. People are vulnerable in settings where trust is encouraged. Children are vulnerable in any setting. The sins of the leaders not only rip the lives of the victims but they hit others as well—parents, spouses, family and friends and members of the congregation. Can a public apology really help? Will people forgive? Will hurt people trust again and reconcile? Will the apology be accepted and the leader rest...