Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

  A saying by psychologist author Adam Grant caught my attention- "Sometimes you have to let others down to uphold your boundaries." It's true. People have expectations of us--sometimes too many. Trying to please others can sap the energy we need for our priorities. Of course, we can only be aware of the loss of energy for our priorities if we have clear priorities. After deciding on our priorities, we may have to deal with the fact that some people are so focused on their personal projects that they do not consider our boundaries.  Fortunately, some are sensitive and will both recognize and respect our boundaries when they are made aware. A simple note and an offer to reschedule can be enough. Unfortunately, some do not respect our boundaries. Guilt may appear when relationships end abruptly. Former friends are lost. Finding the right balance between caring for others and having a life isn't easy. Saying "No" and accepting an others' "No" can ...

Who is my neighbor? The focus of various compassion ministries and public charities this time of year is naturally on helping those less fortunate--people who are cold, hungry, and lacking life's basics. What some miss in the focus on being a "Good Samaritan" is the identification of the neighbor in the famous story. Who is my neighbor? The neighbor is the compassionate Samaritan--not the beaten victim in need of much love and compassion. The focus of the story is on the people of faith who need to develop the virtue of neighborly love. Advertisement Living Well- an integration of faith and love and nine more virtues  AMAZON Story from Luke 10:25-37 Related Post How to measure compassion:  https://statistics.suttong.com/2018/05/how-to-measure-compassion.html Connections My web page www.suttong.com My Books AMAZON GOOGLE PLAY STORE FACEBOOK Geoff W. Sutton Join me on TWITTER @Geoff.W.Sutton Publications (many FREE downloads)   ...

Years ago, at a Christian college, I took a course in Christian Philosophy . I don’t remember much from the textbook but I do recall the title of another book, Why I Am Not a Christian by Bertrand Russell. Looking back, I wondered why the professor chose such a text for a course in a highly conservative college. Was he trying to prepare us to challenge the author? Was he struggling with his own faith? Spiritual Struggle / Bing Free to use/share Arguably, the leading atheist of recent decades is the biologist Richard Dawkins . Following the 911 attacks on America, Dawkins and his atheist friends published several challenges to religion. A best seller, The God Delusion , caught my attention. After all, as a psychologist, I know something about delusions. And as one who studies and writes about the psychology of religion, I wondered what might be new in this arena—new since Russell, that is. Five Things Christians Can Learn From Atheists I’ve written an academic ...

Ten Ways Spirituality Promotes Emotional Health I was asked to write an article about faith and emotional health. As a Christian, I naturally focused on Christian spirituality. As a psychologist, I examined recent publications describing emotional well-being. In this process, I came up with ten Christian principles and virtues linked to psychological well-being. The complete article can be found in Vital Magazine online ( Sutton, 2016 ). In this post I will just list the ten items and refer you to the magazine article for the content. 1. Strengthen Faith 1 Corinthians 13 2. Nurture Hope 1 Corinthians 13 3. Embrace Love 1 Corinthians 13 4. Express gratitude Psalm 95:2 5. Practice Forgiveness Ephesians 4:32 6. Share Generously 2 Corinthians 9: 6-7 7. Connect with Friends and Family Genesis 2:18 8. Share your concerns Matthew 11: 28-30 9. Manage Anger Ephesians 4:26 10. Enjoy a Sabbath Rest Mark 2:27 A quote from the article: "Emotional health goes ...

Recently Resettled Refugees The Psychology of Rejection And How to Help It’s pretty obvious that people are afraid of killers and potential killers. Given the recent violence in Paris and the horrific killings in Syria and Iraq, it’s natural to be suspicious of anyone who looks like they come from that part of the world. Appeals to reason are wasted. When threatened wise people seek safety and arm themselves against danger. Conservatives in the U.S. and elsewhere are vociferous in their stance against taking in Syrian Refugees. Muslims are under suspicion in Western countries. Why is Refugee Rejection So Strong? 1. A Threat Became Reality A video threatening the U.S. and other countries fighting in Syria has made the rounds. The people in the video are from the same part of the world as are the refugees. And one of the Paris murderers had a Syrian passport. There’s some evidence that a killer came to France as a Refugee. The killers are obviously out ...

GAY MARRIAGE: 9 REASONS WHY CHRISTIANS VOICE SUPPORT? Why? The why question is problematic because Christians give different answers. I’ll not wax too philosophical here. But I think it important to keep in mind that Christians have different beliefs about a lot of things. Here’s a few common answers to the why question. Bible Answers 1. Godly love supports diverse marriage arrangements . The foundation for Christian morality can be found in Jesus’ summary of the law requiring followers to love God and love one’s neighbor. Since the Bible does not condemn loving relationships between same-sex persons, there is no reason to assume any of the small set of oft quoted Bible verses prohibits same-sex marriage. The Genesis verses describe a God blessed union but do not address marriage. Polygamy has a long and accepted position for the people of God. The Hebrew households included many wives and concubines who bore children for the tribal...

HONORING BLACK LIVES:  LOVING NEIGHBORS Many in the U.S. will honor Black Lives Matter Sunday . This is an important opportunity to celebrate the love theme of advent by making it clear that the lives of Black citizens really do matter. Black leaders have called for a day of prayer and lifting up the significance of black lives and black communities. Christians are supposed to be people characterized by love for others. Obviously, many fall short. This weekend can be an opportunity for redemption. All Americans can show their respect for and love of Black Americans on Sunday, throughout the Christmas season, and in the years to come. Despite a Civil War in the 1800s and Civil Rights actions in the 1900s, racial prejudice and racial inequality persist in the 2000s. There's more work to do. Whites need to understand that racial inequality has not ended. This Sunday is an opportunity to realize the work begun in the Civil Rights era has not been comp...

Intolerance and religious tribes and thoughts on becoming good neighbors I gave a talk about conservative and liberal Christians. The jumping off point for the discussion centers on a chapter in Brian D. McLaren’s book a Generous Orthodoxy . Religious tribes are at war. Westerners learn that not all Muslims share the same beliefs. News from Israel and Palestine reminds us that people of different religious groups fight to the death. And survivors seek revenge. Americans associated with different religious tribes have different beliefs about right and wrong action.  Conservatives and liberals disagree about religion and politics. And the disagreements are fierce. I find the moral psychology research helpful to understanding what separates these two religious tribes.  Conservative and liberal Christians are often at war despite a command to love. Finding solutions won’t be easy. Here’s some research and thoughts on the roots of intolerance, respect, U...