Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

How do you honor a mother? Can you avoid the madness? Getting it right on mother’s day can be a challenge for ordinary folks and religious leaders. Several countries set aside a day to honor mothers. That can be a good thing. Anna Jarvis, the advocate of the U.S. mother’s day, realized problems in her own day. (See Nicole Russell’s essay in the Atlantic .) Could it get much worse? That depends on your mother’s perspective. I was raised in a Christian home. Mother’s Day was a big deal to my mother. Of course in that era Christian mother’s always dressed up for church. She enjoyed cards, flowers, and meals out. As she aged, she enjoyed being recognized as the oldest mother at church—pretty much every year since she lived 93 years. But times have changed. Somewhere along the line even conservative churches realized mother’s day can be troublesome.  Some women who wanted to be a mother but were not mothers were reminded about their second class status every y...

How do you frame your mother? Framing mother- creating a special day-- began 100 years ago when in 1914 Anna Jarvis began her quest to have Congress designate the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day in the U.S . Mothers are real people. But that’s not what happens on mother’s day in the U.S. Mothers morph into an ideal concept. American mothers become queen for a day. Mothers become goddesses. Mothers have been framed. And not all mothers fit the American cultural frame. Mothers young and old alike get to enjoy this special day. Our cultural framing is guided by a powerful commercial engine that sells flowers and food in the temple court. Children must bring the sacrifices our goddesses expect if they want to win their mother's favor for another year. Oh, I nearly forgot the expensive fold-out flowery card in pink or lavender-- with or without a Christian cross. 8 QUESTIONS  TO ASK OR NOT TO ASK BEFORE YOU HONOR YOUR MOTHER 1. What’s a mother worth...