Boundaries and Caring-Life Balance

 

A saying by psychologist author Adam Grant caught my attention-

"Sometimes you have to let others down to uphold your boundaries."

It's true. People have expectations of us--sometimes too many.

Trying to please others can sap the energy we need for our priorities. Of course, we can only be aware of the loss of energy for our priorities if we have clear priorities.

After deciding on our priorities, we may have to deal with the fact that some people are so focused on their personal projects that they do not consider our boundaries. 

Fortunately, some are sensitive and will both recognize and respect our boundaries when they are made aware. A simple note and an offer to reschedule can be enough.

Unfortunately, some do not respect our boundaries. Guilt may appear when relationships end abruptly. Former friends are lost.

Finding the right balance between caring for others and having a life isn't easy.

Saying "No" and accepting an others' "No" can promote well-being when the "No" is required to pursue a personal goal, take a needed rest, or enjoy an activity that restores our soul.

All around us are people with incredible needs for help and comfort. Many are sick. Many are recently bereaved. Many are poor. Caring is in constant demand. Good people are expected to care. And that's a good thing. Selfish inflexible people are on the path to loneliness. I want to add a "however."

Maintaining boundaries can reflect

a healthy caring-life balance

 allowing the carer to be more caring.

Spirituality

Good works are often a part of religious practice. Of course, one need not be religious to do good works. Some may express their spirituality in caring for others. Loving and caring for one's neighbors are vital to healthy communities. 

In the first century, Mark wrote about times when Jesus of Nazareth, took a break from ministering to the crowds. On one occasion (Mark 6) Jesus and his team were so busy they hadn't eaten so he told them to take a break. A little later, he took a break from everyone just to be alone.

Regardless of faith or no faith, people motivated by compassion can benefit from the example of the young Jewish man whose life continues to inspire over 2 billion people today. 

When the expectations of others reach a certain point. Recognize the need to take a break.

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