Memorials 2023

 

Unmarked grave of Grandmother Mary Sutton
and daughter Margaret

A Day of Remembrance

I began thinking about Memorial Day in a different way this year. I especially like the old name of Decoration Day—a day to decorate the gravesites and honour those who died while they were in service.

Memorial Day has to be different for we immigrants who do not have close connections to family members or close friends who actually died in service. Yet we can appreciate their sacrifice and the freedoms we enjoy. At some point, I learned the difference between Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day.

In an era of considerable travel, we are often far away from the graves of those who have passed. I recall visiting some European cemeteries where many young Americans are honoured. But they are so far from families in North America.

What makes things different this year is the experience of visiting grave sites and a memorial in England of family members who I can no longer greet. I can appreciate more than in the past those kind people who ‘decorate’ the grave sites even as they mourn.

I entered the north entrance of St Paul’s Cathedral a few weeks ago. There’s a special chapel for those who died during the recent pandemic. I opened a computer screen and saw my cousin whose funeral I attended online. I was surprised at my feelings and glad for a place to sit and be still. And I was impressed by the kindness of the staff who offered support even though I was not the grieving mother, sister, or children. I can hardly imagine their pain.

Chapel in St Paul's for those who died during the Pandemic

In another venue, I went with cousins to visit the gravesite of our grandmother and one of her daughters. It’s an unmarked grassy area identified by its proximity to a soldier’s memorial. And I think of those families who don’t even have an unmarked grave to decorate. Surely the decorations are for us, the living.

Later, I visited the gravesite beside a church where an uncle and aunt are buried. I was there with their only daughter and one of their granddaughters. And with more sadness, my cousins honoured their husband and dad who served as a fire service chaplain. He left us only a few years ago.

So, we appropriately mourn with those who mourn.

A moment of silence,

A flag,

A bit of sprucing up,

And flowers.

Remembering those who enrich us now with good memories from yesteryear.