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| Unmarked grave of Grandmother Mary Sutton and daughter Margaret |
I began thinking about Memorial Day in a different way this
year. I especially like the old name of Decoration Day—a day to decorate the
gravesites and honour those who died while they were in service.
Memorial Day has to be different for we immigrants who do
not have close connections to family members or close friends who actually died
in service. Yet we can appreciate their sacrifice and the freedoms we enjoy. At
some point, I learned the difference between Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day.
In an era of considerable travel, we are often far away from
the graves of those who have passed. I recall visiting some European cemeteries
where many young Americans are honoured. But they are so far from families in
North America.
What makes things different this year is the experience of
visiting grave sites and a memorial in England of family members who I can no
longer greet. I can appreciate more than in the past those kind people who ‘decorate’
the grave sites even as they mourn.
I entered the north entrance of St Paul’s Cathedral a few
weeks ago. There’s a special chapel for those who died during the recent
pandemic. I opened a computer screen and saw my cousin whose funeral I attended
online. I was surprised at my feelings and glad for a place to sit and be
still. And I was impressed by the kindness of the staff who offered support
even though I was not the grieving mother, sister, or children. I can hardly
imagine their pain.
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| Chapel in St Paul's for those who died during the Pandemic |
In another venue, I went with cousins to visit the gravesite of our grandmother and one of her daughters. It’s an unmarked grassy area identified by its proximity to a soldier’s memorial. And I think of those families who don’t even have an unmarked grave to decorate. Surely the decorations are for us, the living.
Later, I visited the gravesite beside a church where an
uncle and aunt are buried. I was there with their only daughter and one of
their granddaughters. And with more sadness, my cousins honoured their husband
and dad who served as a fire service chaplain. He left us only a few years ago.
So, we appropriately mourn with those who mourn.
A moment of silence,
A flag,
A bit of sprucing up,
And flowers.
Remembering those who enrich us now with good memories from
yesteryear.
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