Unions of States and Couples are built on Trust

The Washington riot of 1-6-2021 has had a disturbingly little impact on provoking people to think about the Union.

As I read through comments on Facebook and Twitter in response to the assault on Capitol Hill it is not surprising to see that the citizens of the union are as distrusting of each other now as they were before the election. The separation of the nation into Republican and Democratic tribes resulted in divisions running as deep as families and marriages or relationships.

America is a religious nation and most identify as Christian, but faith did not matter as Christians took sides as they have in civil wars for centuries. President Abraham Lincoln saw this as plainly in 1865 as we see today when he said:

"Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God,

and each invokes His aid against the other."

This hatred of the other has cut deeply into the union and is constantly fueled by the rhetoric of doubt and contempt. I’ve seen this many times in marriages that fall apart. It’s not much different when it comes to intergroup relationships. After all, we are talking about the ability or inability of humans to make a union thrive or give up and go their own way. It’s no surprise that people born into such unions reflect the excoriating contempt for the other partner.

Currently, we appear to be a nation divided like a couple separated but not officially divorced. Each partner enhances their own identity (identity & politics) without concern for the union anymore. They hang with their own friends and if religious, as so many claim, they worship different gods. The couple has amassed great wealth but they have not invested in the union. Sometimes, they make an attempt at compromise for the good of their children but often the effort is pathetic. The children invariably suffer.

Reconciliation is going to be very difficult.

There are incentives not to reconcile.

Like a dysfunctional family, relatives have poured their resources into coffers that only encourage sniping, sewing seeds of doubt about the other, and increasing the hideous hammer of contempt. Money is a powerful incentive supporting the segregation of the nation into Republican and Democratic groups.

It will take more than rhetoric to rebuild sufficient trust to create a flicker of hope of reconciliation.

Reconciliation, the rebuilding of a union, requires rebuilding trust,

ending the rhetoric of doubt,

ending the love of gossip,

withholding words of contempt, and

trying hard to find truth no matter how painful.

Truth and reconciliation have worked before.

Truth is a necessary condition for reconciliation, but truth can be painful.

Reconciliation requires safety.

Reconciliation only works when both groups are willing and there are no acts or threats of violence or other forms of harm such as emotional abuse.

Rhetoric doesn’t count as evidence.

Trust is built on public acts of kindness and good will.

Trust requires action that honors commitments made in the next few days, weeks, and months.

We the voting citizens of America can play a part in voting for candidates committed to working across party lines for the good of the United States.

We can also seek to reconcile with those who hold different opinions provided that they are willing to engage in civil discussion.

I haven’t talked about forgiveness. It’s much too early yet. You can reconcile without forgiving just like you can go to work and get along with someone who has been offensive. Forgiveness requires so much more effort than reconciliation because of the persistent emotional pain. For a lasting relationship, forgiveness is important.

Remember the date 1621 (January 6, 2021)

May it be a turning point in promoting the union of These United States of America, by building a working trust one safe step at a time.

Cite this post (APA)

Sutton, G.W. (2021, January 6). Unions of states and couples are built on trust. GeoffWSutton. https://geoffwsutton.blogspot.com/2021/01/unions-are-built-on-trust.html

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