Faith, Hope, and
Marriage
I’m at that age when my wife and I attend weddings again.
The children of our friends are getting married. We've known one or both
members of the loving couple for years-- sometimes since they were children.
What a great occasion! Old memories mix with the present celebration. For a day
or two dozens of us are transported to a world where there is only joy and
love. Smiling young people sing and dance, kiss and hug. And colorful
pictures tag their way along digital corridors. A new marriage has begun.
Most people enter their first marriage because they are
deeply in love and want to be together forever. Some obtain premarital
counseling and some do not. If they think ahead, they have high expectations that they will have a great marriage. On occasion, close friends and family members
can’t imagine a relationship working out. But love is blind. And sometimes the skeptics are wrong.
When trouble looms, many couples try to work things out. They take
time to be together. Schedule a fantastic holiday weekend. See a marriage
counselor. Consult a priest or pastor. Attend a marriage seminar. They have
invested emotions, and a whole lot more, in a life together. But at some point
many give up. Divorce is easy to come by and life is too short to spend any
more time in a relationship that really ended months or years ago. Is there any hope that marriages can be restored?
So, what works?
If counseling is going to work, what kinds of
interventions will make a difference? One intervention is the Hope-Focused
Couples Approach (also known as HFCA, but I will refer to this as Hope)
developed by Everett L. Worthington Jr. and his colleagues at Virginia
Commonwealth University. The Hope approach is one of those interventions that
has been supported by research and clinical practice. And it is a faith
friendly approach (psychology researchers use the phrase religious-accommodative
intervention), hence it is relevant to my blog on the Psychology of Religion.
As you might expect, interventions that accommodate religious beliefs in the
United States will be tested in Christian samples. In fact, given a choice,
most in the U.S. will opt for a faith-friendly intervention (72%; cited in Ripley et
al., 2013).
In a recently published chapter (2013) aimed at
clinicians, Jennifer S. Ripley, Vickey L. Maclin, and Joshua N. Hook joined
with Everett L. Worthington Jr. to review the evidence and offer practical
suggestions. There’s a helpful table summarizing the findings of 11 research
studies between 1995 and 2012. Most studies involve a dozen or more couples.
Two were case studies. The 2012 study included 145 couples randomly assigned to
Hope, another intervention, and a control condition. Worthington and his
colleagues measured outcomes in several ways. They asked people to complete
widely used questionnaires, studied behavior, and measured cortisol levels—a biological
marker of stress.
What’s included in
Hope?
The Hope focused approach is a strategic intervention. With
clinician guidance, couples identify those behavior patterns and beliefs or
other factors that seem so destructive. An intervention plan focuses on what
can be done to improve the relationship with a focus on the importance of
repairing the relationship bond (the authors draw on attachment theory).
What about hope? Hope is one of those positive psychology
variables investigated in depth by the late C. R Snyder of the University of
Kansas. Snyder found that hope has two components. Hopeful people are motivated
to achieve goals and believe they can (agency). And hopeful people have a
goal-focused plan (pathway). The Hope researchers also draw on a theology that
encourages people to wait on God. (They cite the Catholic existential
philosopher, Gabriel Marcel).
What else makes a difference? Worthington is known for
his forgiveness research. He and his colleagues draw on that legacy to include
forgiveness interventions known to heal damaged relationships. They believe the
forgiveness component is the most important to long-term effectiveness.
How does Hope
relate to Faith?
Referring to Christian theology, the authors observe that
faith involves “belief in things not yet seen (p. 196).”
Christians couples are encouraged to have faith in God to support their relationship. Love is the third concept linked to faith and hope in Hope focused counseling as well as in Christian theology. In this context, loving couples increase their valuing of their partners and refuse to devalue them.
Christian virtues are linked to hope. I already mentioned
forgiveness. Another virtue is humility. Also important are such virtues as
waiting patiently, showing love, and speaking gently. Christians and many people
of other religions view the marriage relationship as sacred. Marriages often
begin in churches and temples. Clergy officially conduct the ceremony. And for
Christians, God is invited to be present. Christians and other people of faith
also think in terms of covenants and vows. These deep commitments go to the
heart of what binds people together in any relationship and can be especially
important to recall and enhance in a marriage relationship.
Any specific interventions?
The authors offer several of their most effective
interventions. As you might expect, they include prayer and show its importance
to Christian couples. They are aware of the problems in prayer research but
note that prayer is the most commonly used Christian intervention in counseling
or psychotherapy. Other specifics include communication skills, scaling
strategies to assess closeness, empty chair techniques linked to empathy
development and forgiveness interventions, and sculpting. Sculpting is a
theatrical strategy that encourages people to use their posture to show their
distance or closeness from each other and how they might relate to each other.
For example, in a damaged relationship the couple may place themselves at a
distance and be looking away from each other as if focused on their own life
pursuits. See the sculpting video on my YouTube Playlist).
My Thoughts
The Hope Focused intervention works for many couples.
Clinicians ought to use counseling interventions that are known to
be effective with at least some couples. Why would anyone want to use counseling approaches that are not supported by evidence when evidence-based practices are available?
Couples seeking counseling ought to work with clinicians
who know and use interventions that are known to be effective with some
couples. So many couples are in distress. Couples cannot be expected to know what interventions work and which do not. I hope readers of this post will get the word out to all people seeking counseling that there are some effective interventions for many conditions or situations. That does not mean an approach works well for all people but it does mean some interventions are supported by evidence. And people do well to work with clinicians who understand what works and what does not work.
Clinicians ought to understand and respect the role of
faith in the lives of all clients. And clinicians ought to be especially cognizant of
the importance of faith to the sacredness of marriage for many people. Most
people in the world are religious. And most in the U.S. are Christian. The Hope
approach is one approach that is faith-friendly.
Clearly more research is needed. There are other approaches to marriage counseling that have been supported by evidence. My primary concern is that people should seek treatment from professionals who employ evidenced-based interventions. And I consider it important that religious persons not seek treatment from someone just because they share the same faith. In this context, I might suggest that faith without evidenced based practice might lead to a dead relationship.
Follow this link to read my review of the book Evidenced-based
practices for Christian counseling and psychotherapy (Free download or the paper can be bookmarked).
I recommend the book. Although I know some of the authors, I receive no compensation for my recommendation.
Related Posts
References
Ripley, J. S., Maclin, V. L., Hook, J. N., &
Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2013). The hope-focused couples approach to counseling
and enrichment. In E. L. Worthington Jr., E. L. Johnson, J.N. Hook, & J.D.
Aten (Eds.), Evidenced-based practices
for Christian counseling and psychotherapy (pp. 189-208). Downers Grove,
IL: CAPS/IVP Academic.
Wade, N.G., Worthington, E.L., Jr., & Vogel, D.L.
(2007). Effectiveness of religiously-tailored
interventions in Christian therapy. Psychotherapy Research, 17, 91-105.
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