Psychology of Forgiveness and
Christian Spirituality
Forgiveness has become faddish in
recent years as numerous mental health clinicians became aware of the benefits
of forgiveness to mental and general health. Books and seminars promise
pathways to help people forgive and reap the benefits in better health. Adding
to the interest is the fit of forgiveness with Christian teaching—still the
dominant faith in the US where much of the forgiveness research has been
conducted. The research findings are indeed encouraging but an eagerness to
apply a new discovery can often lead to misapplications and exaggerated
expectations. Forgiveness is not a panacea.
I recently (September, 2014) summarized
research on the psychology of forgiveness and Christian spirituality for the
journal, Encounter. In this post I
will summarize some key points. Here’s the link to a copy of the complete article,
Psychology
of Forgiveness, where you will find more details and complete references.
You will find other publications on the Academia page.
Starters
If you are new to the study of
forgiveness or haven’t looked at the history, I recommend two books. Simon
Wiesenthal’s book, The Sunflower, is
a classic. Simon tells the emotion laden story of a Nazi soldier’s request for
forgiveness (Link to Sunflower Project Page). He then includes numerous responses from many persons so we learn
how people view the concept of forgiveness. The link to the recent focus of
Christian forgiveness can be traced to Lewis Smedes of Fuller Theological
Seminary. Forgive and Forget: Healing the
Hurts We Don’t Deserve (1984) is a must read.
What is forgiveness?
Like most people, psychological
scientists disagree over definitions. Even when they reach a consensus, they
can end up with ideas that are different from the public perception.
Forgiveness is a relational concept. Here's a definition from an article that distinguishes between a state and a process (Sutton & Thomas, 2005, pp. 33-34).
We can also think of forgiveness as a personality trait or disposition. Some writers refer to this as forgivingness. The idea is that some people routinely forgive more than others-- as if it were part of their character. Here's a quote from Sutton & Thomas (2005, p.34).
Forgiveness is a multidimensional intrapersonal relational concept. It is a reasonably stable, motivational state that exists when a person experiences positive cognitive, affective, and/or physiological responses toward offenders and/or their transgressions. The state of forgiveness follows a choice to forgive that occurs sometime during the forgiving process.
Forgiving is a multidimensional, motivational process that reflects overall increasing positive changes in cognitive, affective, and/or physiological responses toward offenders and/or their transgressions. The process has a starting point following a transgression. The process may be interrupted or reversed. The process may or may not result in a stable state of forgiveness.
We can also think of forgiveness as a personality trait or disposition. Some writers refer to this as forgivingness. The idea is that some people routinely forgive more than others-- as if it were part of their character. Here's a quote from Sutton & Thomas (2005, p.34).
Dispositional forgiveness is a personality trait that reflects a tendency to respond to many transgressions with positive cognitions, affects, and/or physiological states within a short time
frame.
Speaking of forgiveness only make
sense if a person has been deeply hurt and the bad feelings connected to that
hurt persist. Forgiveness is one way of dealing with the hurt feelings and the
sense of injustice surrounding a hurtful event.
When someone lies about you,
beats you, or commits any of number of horrible acts, it is not easy to get
past the hurt. Forgiveness is one way to
let a hurt go. Other ways to address the injustice is through a justice
system where penalties can be applied to the offender or by way of revenge.
Many find the justice system and revenge unsatisfying in terms of reversing the
harm done. Many live with the hurt feelings but this inside burial does not
work well. Bad feelings flare up from time to time. This holding on to a range
of bad feelings has been called unforgiveness
by Enright (2001) and Worthington (2006).
Unforgiveness is about the past.
Unforgiveness traps people in the past.
Psychologists mostly view
forgiveness as an intrapersonal process. From a psychological perspective, the
focus of forgiveness is on the internal process required to let go of the
damaging emotions, thoughts, and behavior patterns associated with the complex
of unforgiveness. But to most people, forgiveness is something that happens
between persons. Following a hurt, the offender is supposed to apologize and
the victim is expected to forgive. Of course that often does not happen. And to
make matters worse, in times of conflict, any two people can be both victim and
offender as each person may say or do things that hurt the other. In real life,
forgiveness is complex.
Benefits
As you will see in the article, I
cite studies that show health benefits for young, middle aged and older adults.
Forgiveness has been linked to levels of stress, well-being, and depression.
Forgiveness can promote successful aging, better relationships, purpose in life
and personal growth. Forgiveness may also be a risk factor in mortality.
Unconditional forgivers had lower mortality risk
(Toussaint, Owen, &
Cheadle, 2012).
Forgiveness Interventions
There are two models that appear
helpful for a number of people. Both models are friendly to people of the
Christian faith. I briefly reviewed the four phase model by Robert D. Enright and the
five-step REACH model developed by Ev Worthington. These scientists and their
colleagues have published studied providing evidence supporting the helpfulness
of the procedures in helping people forgive specific offenses. Keep in mind
that working through the steps of these models is designed to help victims let
go of the inner problem of unforgiveness.
YouTube video of Ev Worthington and his REACH model.
YouTube video of Ev Worthington and his REACH model.
Reconciliation
Researchers are well aware of the
problem of interpersonal relationships. Forgiveness within a marriage or close
relationship is more complex. Success will require reconciliation as well. At
some level, many people need to get along with others who have hurt them. The
issues of safety and trust are key to understanding reconciliation. Worthington
offers a model to work through reconciliation as well. In this context, research
on effective apologies and confession has been helpful. Also, the work of John
Gottman on relationship repair is applicable (See Healthy Marriages). Finally, Christians will find the
work of Gary Chapman useful as they improve interactions based on an awareness
of different modes of relating he calls love languages.
Self-forgiveness
I cover the topic of
self-forgiveness, which has gained a lot of attention. Self-forgiveness is
clearly different because each person is both the offender and the forgiver.
Worthington believes you can work through his REACH model and has written a
book to show how this can be done. Research is under way and looks promising. I
hypothesize that Christians may find it useful to focus on receiving God’s
forgiveness rather than forgiving oneself. It may be more straightforward to
focus on letting go of self-blame for one’s mistakes than to do whatever is
required to take on dual roles of offering inner forgiveness to oneself.
More
I cover a few other topics, which
you can read about in the Psychology
of Forgiveness article.
Forgiveness
between groups- expressing forgiveness as when groups have been in conflict
Forgivingness-
meaning a pattern of forgiving
Restoration-
restoring offenders to positions they held before an offense was committed-
e.g., criminals, fallen leaders
Sutton, G. W. (2014). Psychology of
forgiveness: An overview of recent research linking psychological science and
Christian spirituality. Encounter, 11. Academia Link
Sutton, G. W. (2010). The Psychology of Forgiveness,
Reconciliation, and Restoration: Integrating Traditional and Pentecostal
Theological Perspectives with Psychology. In M. Mittelstadt & G. W. Sutton
(eds). Forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration:
Multidisciplinary studies from a Pentecostal perspective. Eugene, OR:
Pickwick Publications. http://wipfandstock.com/pickwick_publications
Sutton, G. W., & Thomas, E. K. (2005). Restoring
Christian leaders: How conceptualizations of forgiveness and restoration can
influence practice and research. American
Journal of Pastoral Counseling, 8,
29-44. (The journal has been renamed, Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health.) Academia
Link
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