Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture

What Do People Believe About  Forgiveness and Reconciliation? Anybody interested in the subject of forgiveness and reconciliation knows what psychologists and counselors believe—forgiveness is a good thing for general and mental health. We also know that psychologists define forgiveness as an inside job—forgiveness happens when people let go of the hurt feelings, smoldering anger, and desire for revenge. Some think we should also adopt a positive attitude toward those who hurt us. And psychologists think reconciliation is different from forgiveness. Reconciliation is the process of repairing a damaged relationship. Trust is the key to reconciliation. Forgiveness can help but you can begin the process of working together even when unforgiven hurts persist. For example, people hurting after a divorce can get along to some extent for the sake of their children. Two employees can work together of projects even though unforgiveness limits their ability to enjoy the time the...

Am I in Love? “He loves me. He loves me not.” Pulling the petals of love from a flower to gauge the status of a relationship seems so arbitrary. How do people decide if they are in love? In western cultures, marriage and long-term relationships have been based on love for decades. And when love is no longer present, couples separate. Marriages dissolve. Some find a second love relationship before an existing one is formally abandoned. Others pause between relationships as if one should end before beginning another. Love is a squishy idea. Love is hard to define in terms of a checklist. But that does not stop magazines from responding to the demand for answers to the question: “How do I know if I’m in love?” Geoffrey W. Sutton, PhD Cite this post Sutton, G. W. (2015, February 13). Am i in love? Geoffrey W. Sutton PhD, Psychology and Culture https://geoffwsutton.blogspot.com/2015/02/am-i-in-love.html A Love Model You might suspect that psychologists st...

LESSONS in HOPE and SPIRITUALITY The psychology of hope owes much to the thinking and research of the late C. R.Snyder (2002). His research suggested two components.  Hope involves thinking about ways to achieve goals and objectives ( pathways ). And hope includes those motivational thoughts that energize people to use the identified pathways to reach their goals ( agency thinking). 1. Hope links to compassion. People high in hope are also more compassionate (Sutton et al., 2014). People full of hope love to share their hope with others. People in despair have lost hope and are in desperate need of hearing a message of hope. Hopelessness is in fact a diagnostic feature of clinical depression. Many find hope in the meaning provided through religious faith, including Christianity. 2. Hope links to forgiveness. People with higher hope scores also score higher on trait forgiveness (Sutton et al., 2014). Hope promotes forgiveness in people. And people who learn fo...

FUNDAMENTALISTS – SCARY AS HELL “The problem is the extremists,” a Jewish friend said during a discussion about religiously motivated violence.   BBC news story on violence Religious fundamentalists are frequently in the news nowadays—largely because of some threat or horrific act. Recently, a Muslim group made news in France with the murder of Charlie Hebdo magazine staff in Paris (BBC). Hindu fundamentalists are on the rise in India and persecuting Christians according to a story in Christianity Today 23 January 2015. Some 300 clergy and church leaders are targeted. A report from 2014 claims some 7,000 Christians faced aggression and persecution from non-Christians. Muslims have also been under attack by Hindu fundamentalists who seek to convert Muslims and Christians. Muslims are about 14% of the population according to Free Speech Radio News . Popular Pope Francis has seen the need to speak out against all fundamentalists with a challenge to th...

How to Make Dreams Come True Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Helping people reach their dreams requires action. On this day we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who took his beliefs public. His message and courageous action inspire many. Immigrants come to the U.S. with dreams. Many realize those dreams. But some did not. And some do not. Speedy was a kind Black man with a broad smile and a willingness to lend a hand to anyone in need. As new immigrants, my father needed a job. He found one within a few weeks but we had no car and there was no public transportation. Speedy faithfully gave my dad a ride until he could save up the money for our first used car. You don't forget the kind things people do. Most of us will never lead a major rally protesting social injustice. Most of us can reach out to people in need. Sometimes it doesn't take a lot to help people on their way to reach their dreams. Sometimes you have to cross the lines of your times. For more inspirati...

Christian Therapist – Christian Client Matching:  Is it important? Answer #1: Yes. Matching is probably important. Seven reasons why matching Christian clients to Christian therapists might be important. (Gleanings from Stegman and colleagues, 2013). 1. Psychotherapists know little about religion and spirituality. 2. A large number of Psychotherapists associated with Christian counseling professional groups graduated from non-Christian programs. 3. The spiritual beliefs of Christians can seem like psychopathology to non-Christian clinicians. This is especially true when the beliefs are different from the typical beliefs in a culture. 4. Christian clients consider religious and spiritual issues important to psychotherapy and many wish to talk about these matters. 5. Conservative Christian clients expect their beliefs to be a part of psychotherapy. 6. Not addressing Christian beliefs can lead to early termination. 7. There is a general c...

Love, Prayer, and Charismatic Spirituality Picture a smallish young woman, head bowed, sitting on a wooden chair near the back of a small wooden church. As the semiformal service blended into an after service of prayer, she began to quiver. She shook, the chair began to rock on two legs, and she began to speak in tongues. It was her first time. She never forgot that experience of warmth and God’s presence. God’s love had been experienced. Soaking Prayer Photo The story of the young woman is from the 1930s but charismatic spirituality is going strong and together with Pentecostalism, represents one of the fastest growing movements in Christianity.  Although scholars argue over fine points of defining religion and spirituality, a common finding is that religious people pray. But they pray in different ways. This week I finished reading Catch the Fire: Soaking Prayer and Charismatic Renewal by Canadian Sociologist,Michael Wilkinson and Religious Studies schol...