Geoff W. Sutton Blog

Changing Marriage Marriage under Reconstruction Part 2 I left my previous post with a simple question: What can be done? Of course, the context matters. I’m writing about the reconstruction of marriage. So the expanded question becomes: What can be done about reconstructing marriage given its current status in western cultures? I have some thoughts on what can be done. Live your values   People have changed the marriage construct by just living according to their values . By successfully living as a single person, individuals documented that many people could live a fulfilled life outside of a marital relationship. That’s different for societies that held up marriage as The Way to live life. The change to the marriage construct is one of valuing. In a different way, some religious groups also valued single living as they encouraged some to enter a life of devoted service. Some Christians have interpreted what seem like unusual texts as evidence that being sing...

The 1950s imaginary sentimental love man as protein-carbs winner (bring home the bacon & breadwinner) marriage has ended for most people in most Western cultures. Some folks retain that image, or some photoshopped version of it, as the ideal traditional marriage.  Picture the happy couple at church with King James Bibles under their arms and you get the Protestant Christian version of this traditional marriage. Changes are a constant The changes in marriage and romantic relationships in the last few decades are staggering for anyone alive before the 1960s. Human behavior is my business. I am a psychologist. The counseling advice offered to couples seems to reflect the mythology of the decade rather than recommendations sourced in science. I would like to say that the nature and extent of the changes in marriage and romantic relationships have never been seen before in human history. But I am no historian. Nevertheless, the changes call for some consider...

NELSON MANDELA RECONCILIATION  CONTINUES As I write this post, Nelson Mandela lies ill in hospital. People have gathered to pray. His example of forgiveness and reconciliation continues as reflected in a BBC news headline : Nelson Mandela is ‘uniting the nation,’ hears church service. In 2009, I joined my friend Johan Mostert on a visit to religious leaders and ministries in South Africa. I learned of the pain of suffering and the struggle to forgive from people who had lived through apartheid. Mostert, a clergyman and community psychologist and his colleague, Mervin van der Spuy, Chaplain, weave stories of forgiveness and reconciliation with historical events as they explain the value of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) in healing the nation. (I’ll include the reference to their chapter at the end of this blog post.) The TRC was set up by the South African Government of National Unity to deal with the results of violent conflicts and human rights a...

INDEPENDENCE DAY JUSTICE IMMIGRATION The people of Boston bore witness to violence. In the late 1760s, things heated up. People were divided in their support for the British government. Troops arrived to manage the conflict. Then it happened. Fighting began. Shots were fired. Bostonians were killed on 5 March, 1770. The troops were arrested. John Adams defended the British Captain and later the troops. The Captain was acquitted. Two soldiers received the death penalty but were freed with a brand of murder based on a special plea. You can read materials related to the trial online . In the midst of conflict, people wanted justice. Both sides wanted a fair trial—perhaps for different reasons. Justice prevailed. My parents and I emigrated from England and arrived in the USA just a couple of weeks before the 4th of July. It seemed awkward for British citizens to celebrate independence from Britain. There were plenty of jokes about the redcoats and strange Eng...