FORGIVENESS &
CHRISTIAN COUNSELING:
Is forgiveness just a fad?
“You need to forgive him,” the counselor said as he
pointed to the Bible and quoted Jesus threat linked command. “But if you do not forgive men their
trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:15)
It’s easy to
see why forgiveness is a popular topic in Christian literature. It is after all
at the heart of the gospel. And it is a command. Although some interpretations
have led to much distress for those who fear forgiving will only encourage
evildoers to continue to abuse their victims.
A few posts
ago I began looking at the evidence supporting Christian Counseling and
Psychotherapy. This is a post related to that quest.
FORGIVENESS AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SCIENCE
In the past
two decades, psychological scientists have tested forgiveness interventions and
found evidence that many people are able to forgive their offenders and
experience an inner sense of peace and relief from distressing symptoms.
Forgiveness
has been linked to better general health and mental health. Here’s two examples.
Self-forgiveness
was related to better physical health for adults (Toussaint and others, 2001).
People who
required offenders to satisfy a demand were at higher risk for mortality than people who forgave unconditionally (Toussaint and others, 2012).
FORGIVENESS IN COUNSELING AND
PSYCHOTHERAPY
Julia E. M.
Kidwell and Nathaniel G. Wade recently (2013) reviewed evidence of forgiveness
interventions. They cite several studies documenting the effectiveness of
forgiveness interventions for clients drawn from general samples and those who
identified as Christian.
The authors
specifically identified studies showing the effectiveness of the REACH model
developed by Ev Worthington, Jr. of Virginia Commonwealth University. In
addition to its effectiveness with students, the model has been studied in
adult samples within the United States and other countries. Counseling resources can be found on Ev Worthington's web page.
I have presented forgiveness interventions in Pentecostal Churches and found a warm reception to Worthington's REACH model. I have also found them open to participating in research related to forgiveness and restoration (References below: Mittlestadt & Sutton, 2010; Sutton, 2010).
FORGIVENESS MODELS
There are
several forgiveness models that have been found to be effective for clients
regardless of religious tradition or no tradition.
Robert D. Enright
offers “A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope” in his
2001 book, Forgiveness is a Choice,
which is published by the American Psychological Association. It is actually a
self-help book. He divides the forgiving process into four phases each having
multiple steps. Enright and his colleagues have published results supporting
the effectiveness of his model. See below for a reference to his book and links to videos.
As mentioned
above, Ev L. Worthington, Jr. has developed and tested a five step model using the
acronym REACH. The model is presented in a way that would be suitable for any
client regardless of religious tradition or no tradition but Worthington has
specifically written articles and a book to explain how the model fits with
Christian theology. He also includes specific interventions accommodating
Christian beliefs and practice. See below for a link to videos by Worthington and references to his books.
There are other models. For example, Fred Luskin has a model. I have included a video by Luskin in the link to videos below.
THOUGHTS
Forgiveness counseling may not be the reason someone
got better.
Improvement
following a forgiveness intervention is not evidence to support the
effectiveness of the forgiveness intervention.
One of the great things about counseling and psychotherapy is the
importance of relationship. Just talking with a kind and accepting person who
offers undivided attention and confidentiality can be very helpful. If you add
a placebo effect to the relationship, a lot of people may benefit from a few
visits. And one more thing—add the value of the time effect to the placebo
effect and the relationship effect. People often feel better when they get some
distance (read time) from a distressing event. For forgiveness interventions
and any other interventions to be effective, they should add value above that
accounted for by time, placebo effects, and a warm and accepting relationship.
Forgiveness is not a panacea.
Although many
people do indeed benefit from forgiving those who have offended them,
forgiveness may not be the most pressing need for a person seeking
psychotherapy. For example, if a client was sexually assaulted as a youth, the
person may experience symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, including a
common co-occurring persistent depression years later. And forgiveness may be an important
intervention. But it does not mean that working through a forgiveness
intervention will relieve the symptoms of PTSD or Depression. On the other
hand, forgiveness may be helpful at a later stage in treatment. Psychological
scientists and experienced clinicians know this but I fear many clinicians just
jump on a band wagon and use their newly found forgiveness tool (sorry about
the mixed metaphor).
Forgiveness and reconciliation are still
confusing ideas.
Despite the
efforts of psychological scientists and clinicians to separate forgiveness from
reconciliation, people still link the two ideas. I suspect the reason for the
confusion is the fact that we often need to get along with the people who hurt
us. In everyday experience, when we forgive someone it is usually in the
context of a relationship such as in a marriage or at work.
It is however important to keep the concepts of forgiveness and reconciliation separate when serious offenses have happened. Recommending a woman return and reconcile with her abusive husband can be a disaster. And disastrous consequences can happen in any situation when people believe they must live their lives as victims of abuse if they are to forgive the abuser.
The idea of forgiving
a dead offender can help some people see the difference between forgiveness and
reconciliation. A person can reach the point of forgiving a person who hurt
them years ago. But if that person is dead, there is no reconciliation possible.
Forgiveness may or may not be a Christian
Counseling Intervention
The scientific
evidence supports the beneficial effects of forgiveness interventions in
counseling. The existing models have been effective with Christian and
non-Christian clients. It makes sense that a Christian client would feel more
comfortable working through forgiveness with a Christian counselor who was
comfortable citing relevant scriptures and praying for God’s grace to assist in
the often difficult process; however, the interventions that have scientific
support are not presented as Christian per se. Rather, they may be called
religious accommodative or more specifically, Christian-accommodative. The distinction
does not matter to many who care about what works. And as long as an
intervention does not attempt to upset or destroy one’s religious beliefs, what’s
the harm? Nevertheless, some Christians are wary about counseling that is not
strictly biblical counseling or developed as a specifically Christian
intervention.
QUICK
NOTES
Forgiveness is
not reconciliation.
Forgiveness is
not a panacea.
Forgiveness is
not the treatment of choice for PTSD and depression.
Forgiveness
interventions offer an opportunity to consider the question,
What does it mean
to do Christian counseling?
The idea of forgiving
a dead offender can help some people see the difference between forgiveness and
reconciliation.
RELATED
POSTS
VIDEO
LINKS
I have a
Forgiveness Playlist on my YouTube page. The list includes talks and stories
related to this post and others you may find interesting.
REFERENCES
Enright, R. D. (2001). Forgiveness is a choice: A step-by-step process for resolving anger and
restoring hope. Washington ,
DC
Kidwell, J.E.M. & Wade, N.G. (2013).
Christian-accommodative group interventions to promote forgiveness for
transgressions. In E. L. Worthington Jr., E. L. Johnson, J.N. Hook, & J.D.
Aten (Eds.), Evidenced-based practices
for Christian counseling and psychotherapy (pp. 325-346). Downers Grove,
IL: CAPS/IVP Academic.
Mittelstadt, M. & G. W.
Sutton (eds.) (2010) Forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration:
Multidisciplinary studies from a Pentecostal perspective. Eugene, OR:
Pickwick Publications. http://wipfandstock.com/pickwick_publications
Sutton, G. W. (2010). The Psychology of Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Restoration: Integrating Traditional and Pentecostal Theological Perspectives with Psychology. In M. Mittelstadt & G. W. Sutton (eds). Forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration: Multidisciplinary studies from a Pentecostal perspective. Eugene, OR:
Toussaint, L.L., Williams, D. R., Musick, M.A., &
Everson, S.A. (2001). Forgiveness and health: Age differences in a U.S.
probability sample. Journal of Adult
Development, 8, 249-257. doi: 10.1023/A1011394629736
Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2006). Forgiveness and reconciliation: Theory and application. New York : Brunner-Routledge.
Worthington, E.L., Jr. (2003). Forgiving and reconciling: Bridges to wholeness and hope. Downers
Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press.
Forgiveness as one of the 10 Big Ideas in Living Well
Excellent blog Geoff!
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